Fall's Coming

I think it's safe to assume that getting kids off to school is a welcome addition to most parents morning routine. The rest of the day's routine for that matter, because having your kids somewhere else for the next six hours is.... somewhat freeing. I know. I'm the one who frees you up.

It's almost fall. I feel it because there are some things that happen every year as beginning of the school year draws near.

#1) I have one of two recurring nightmarish dreams. In the first one, I'm the student who shows up to class in a large auditorium on my college campus and my professor announces to "take out your blue book and a pencil. You'll have the remainder of the period to complete your test.", wherein I panic and ask around for a blue book and a pencil as my cohorts shoot each other glances and roll their eyes. I lived this nightmare more than once as an undergrad since my favorite perk of attending college away from my parents was that no one knew if I went to class or not. As an undergrad, reading funny cards at the bookstore and laughing with my roommate sometimes won out over going to class. The obvious downside of not attending class, is not knowing when there will be a test. In my dream it's always a math class. Note to parents: The statute of limitations on getting upset about this has expired. Also, I show up to work everyday. On time. Early even.

In the other nightmare I'm the teacher, and my class has spiraled out of control. There is running, screaming, spit wads and a number of people treating the hanging lights like playground equipment. This isn't the bad part. The bad part is no matter what I do I cannot get my class' attention. It's totally out of control, but worse, totally out of my control. And people, I've got Common Core Standards to teach. We can't afford to spend more than five minutes swinging from the lights.

#2) Salmon are being caught on the Umpqua River.

#3) I spend time I'd otherwise like to be sleeping, lying awake running through a mental checklist. I did this from 5:30 to 7:00 this morning. Then, I went back to bed until 8:30, made possible by my kids' ability to make their own cinnamon toast. Yay! Or toast with jam. Or toast with butter, jam and cinnamon. Or just pouring cinnamon with sugar from the shaker straight into their mouths. I happen to know Grunny even got a whole piece of toast. From where I'm sitting now I can see the kitchen counter where it all we nt down, and while Grunny has already cleaned the floor, the counter and surrounding cupboards need some attention.

#4) I get a head start on setting up my classroom. Check.

#5) I look for a crafty project to do. I don't know why I do this. It would be better if I didn't. I don't have time for it, but I do it every year like I'm in a panic that this will be the last opportunity to do something personally creative before my focus gets all teacher-ish. This year's project that I must make before going back to work....

Washer Necklaces. Cute, huh? Curse you, Pinterest!

#6) Schedule and attend appointments I avoided all summer. Allergist, check. Dentist....I really should get on that. They're probably full already. Why bother them? I'll call at Christmas.

#7) Color my roots. Peyton was snuggling with Shane this week and asked him, "Daddy, how come your roots are brown?" What. Ever.

#8) Nest like a pregnant woman. Organize every nook and cranny including cleaning out the girls' clothes, reorganize our closets and start mentally making meal plans for fall. I say mentally, because though mean planning is always a goal, I never actually make it happen. It would be so much better for my family if cooking was what got my creative juices flowing. It's not.

#9) Get the Duck Football Schedule on my calendar. Check.

#10) Retrain the Littles. This includes (but isn't limited to) a reasonable bedtime, regular baths, vitamins, fluoride, vegetables, eating meals at a table while using manners, wearing clothing and not peeing in the bark chips on the playground. And a review of things you should and shouldn't say at school couldn't hurt. Ohmuuuuuhgaaaaaawsh..... I'm realizing this goal might be loftier than we're capable of.

#11) Take up writing again and update my blog!