Woopie

Libby:  You know what you are? 

Me:  What?

Libby: A giant Woopie cushion.

Me: Huh. You know what you are? 

Libby:  What?

Me:  The fart that comes out of it.

Libby:  Well, at least we're still together.

No Offense

Peyton stayed home from school today.  When I picked her up yesterday she said her head hurt and she looked a little wilty.  There's a head cold going around school that a lot of our staff has, and apparently it's so miserable that even your teeth hurt.  No thank you. So, we stayed home from school today.  By the time we picked Libby up there was no sign of illness anywhere in Peyton's spunky little body. It's a miracle, I tell you.  Anyway, that opened the door to a few after school errands at Hobby Lobby and Target (those are too errands).  On they way home Libby, forever my planner and oozing responsibility, wanted to know what we are having for dinner.  I ran through our options, which were limited because one of our errands was not the grocery store.  Whatever.  She says, "Mom, no offense, but I can't wait 'till Daddy's home."

Me too, sister.  Me too.

Also, I snapped this yesterday.  Because lab buns. Especially his.

SaveSave

Transgender Bathrooms

Shane: "What do you think of all the noise around transgender bathroom policies?"

Me: "Well, I've read some stuff and I don't actually think people are afraid that transgender people are in the bathroom. I think people are more worried that men are going to sneak into the women's restroom in the shadow of the laws meant to protect people who are transgender....

...and since I'm married to one, I'm not worried."

Shane: "I wasn't peeping. I was PEEING."

Old

Yesterday on the way to a birthday party at the pool....

Libby: "Mom, is driving frustrating, scary and exciting?"

Me: "It can be all of those things."

Peyton: "I'm never going to learn to drive. You'll always drive me, right mommy?"

Libby: "Peyton, you have to learn to drive, because you're not going to get married, remember?"

Peyton: "So mom can drive me, right mom?"

Libby (interrupting): "What if mom lives in a retirement home?"

Peyton: "I'll live right next door to it."

Libby: "But what if she wears diapers? Mom, do all old people wear diapers?"  

Me: "Nope."

I guess it's nice that our kids are doing some thinking about the future. I like the independence that Peyton would like me to have. I'm a little worried about Libby's tendency to slap a diaper on me and stick me in a home. And the Power of Attorney goes to.....Peyton!